a journal nobody knows about, yet it's right there on my other journal. i kind of like that.
i have been home for a little over an hour and a half from my weekend away, taking care of the sick. beth is getting over her concussion and is now on meds for her POTS syndrome. for a while, i was very concerned, but am glad she's being treated. and it was kind of fun playing mom again...cooking, watching out for her. talking, when she was awake. i feel like she'll be ok now.
she gave me something called zantrex-3 - a weight loss supplement she had been taking. the doctor told her she couldn't take it anymore. i tried it today - it has a lot of caffeine in it, and i'm a caffeine junky so it's right up my alley. i'll probably cut back on my coffee consumption while taking these pills, though. and i'll probably only take half the dosage, and only long enough to get my cravings back under control. i swear, i think lexapro makes me crave sweets.
on the whole, it was an interesting weekend. we toured costco - didn't see anything that great about it. i saw panhandlers at intersections, going from car to to car making their plea. now that's something you don't see much around here. it's sad.
and i managed to get us lost - i was the co-pilot, reading the directions off and somehow missed a critical exit. now how on earth did that happen? ::looking skyward::
she had several copies of rolling stone magazine - one anniversay copy that was interesting. the other had an article on how bush would be perceived in history - as one of the worst presidents? well...that's a no-brainer. but i loved the detail. the author made comparisons between lincoln and bush, the differences in their suspension of certain parts of the constitution, only lincoln did it the right way. and the article discussed how bush's rigidity in his stance would be costly. it has been...
in the anniversary issue, the rolling stone displayed covers from the magazine's inception and onward. it was like a blast from the past. there was one photo that was particularly moving - a photo of yoko ono and john lennon. you know the one, where he is nude and curved into his wife's body while she appears oblivious of his presence. spooky...he died shortly after that photograph was taken.
the weekend was different - i'll say that. and it was exactly what i needed. i just wish beth hadn't had to be sick for it to happen.
when we take trips like that, passing from town to town, i'm usually introspective, and one thing i do is wonder what it would be like to live in these places. and i wonder, too, about the older houses by the sides of the road - some of them abandoned, and what they're like on the inside.
and on some trips at night, i feel like a ghost, observing, or a peeping tom, when you pass by on the street and you can see people settled back in their chairs, lit from the glow of the television screen. what are they watching? are they having tea? coffee? are they all settled in for the night? it sparks my curiosity - not in a stalker kind of way, but in a way that makes me create in my imagination what their lives must be like. so i'm weird, i suppose...but completely harmless.
and now i'm home, and i'm not sure i wanted to COME home. perhaps i'm back in one of those little towns, or in the city i left, living a life that's different from the one i have, or perhaps i'm illuminated by the glow from the television screen and someone in a passing car has glimpsed me, and wonders what my life is like.
who knows.
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